Having a crush on someone can be very lonely.
If you haven’t told anyone then it’s a gurgling secret within yourself which can become overwhelming.
I came across a post online written by a young man who was in this very position.
He wanted to ask his friend out on a date. He’d wanted to from the day they met but instead they foraged out a friendship and she was none the wiser to his genuine feelings.
This continued for almost two years until recently they were talking online because of the pandemic lockdown and he took a leap of faith and asked her, when the world is open again and restrictions are lifted, if she’d go on a date with him.
It was much easier to ask her when she wasn’t standing right in front of him.
She said no.
His reaction was pure relief. Not because she’d said no, but because the pressure of the secret was released and he didn’t need to hide behind it anymore.
Phew…best thing he ever did, he said.
I say Bravo. To be vulnerable and put yourself out there is probably one of the most difficult things you can do.
He may have also experienced some initial embarrassment or a feeling of inadequacy but now he can move on because the secret is out. For him it was worth the risk.
Guys have traditionally been the ones who do the asking out, but this attitude is old-fashioned and unnecessary. Girls can step up and ask a guy out, which is the way it should be. If you’re interested in someone, why would you wait?
There’s no rule that says the guy has to be the one doing the asking.
What this young man did took guts, but the true test of the friendship will come when the world opens up again and they meet up face to face. There could be some awkwardness, but he’ll have to remind himself that he cares for her as a friend—nothing more.
The relationship could be very different but can be redefined. Maybe she can help him find the love of his life—who knows.
I remember having crushes when I was in high school and I never acted on them. I kept them to myself and didn’t share. I wonder if it would have made any difference in my life had I acted on it. I’ll never know. I was way too shy and had zero confidence.
At the time I didn’t even think anyone knew I even existed, let alone would want to go out with me. We really are our own worst enemies sometimes.
The lesson in this circumstance is that it took him two years to tell his friend how he really felt. Don’t wait so long. Imagine if she’d said yes…all that wasted time.
In 2020 it’s fine to ask someone out on a date via text or phone so that makes life a bit easier too. No awkward silence as you stand there waiting for an answer.
Overall, it’s always better to speak your truth than let it fester inside of you.
I think all of us at a certain age can relate about waiting for the guy to ask us out. But I think it’s still the same. A young woman I know, waited and waited for this guy….they were friends… to ask her out. He finally did. They are together now.
Thanks Heather. Yes, I agree with you. While the scales have tipped a bit I do see that the girl waits for the guy. Sad really. So much time wasted. I’m glad it worked out for your friends though…I wonder what she’d have done if he never asked.