This is a poem I wrote in 2019.
Poetry is a personal interpretation of one’s life experience and buried emotion.
This poem just bubbled up one day and fell onto the page. It’s obviously a part of me… one I sometimes choose to ignore or neglect. For me it was a reminder to pay attention more to my inner voice and calm it when necessary.
uninvited guest the reflection doesn’t lie as I fluff my hair. flip. spin to see the ten I knew was there I look damn fine. all in place together. feeling Confident. Strong. Ready. to face anything. I got this. the world is mine amongst the masses is perfection its not me but i fake fortitude I exist within my bubble of all knowing feigned oblivion until i'm shrouded in the toxicity of weighty stagnant reacquaintance. i smell her first. sour. sweaty. needy. probably more than a little bit drunk. then i see her. nails bit to the quick. smudged mascara. unshaven pits. dollar store lipstick greasy and cheap just like her she wasn't invited on this date. how'd she get in? i swear i locked her away. grappled like a bitch to secure the feeble latches. but here she is in all her glittery fucking splendor waiting patiently in the wings for my attention. waving. anxious for the nod. for permission to come along. i purposely turn away she's an intruder. unwelcome. i want her gone but she clings. her caustic razor sharp claws dig in and find their hold. i cringe. deflate. her name is insecurity and she wants to tag along like a bothersome little sister who regurges lies or is it truths? fills voids with doubts. hesitancy. she nags, yanks, and clutches at me until there's no fight left. i cave in i let her come. she's elated. the incessant relentless loop of chitter chatter begins. i don't belong. my hair is flat. a ten- hell maybe a four, on a good day whispered postulations abound i’m too fat, this dress is hideous no one likes me. such a loser. hideous. can't do anything right. i'm so stupid. sometimes i dont know why i bother? tomorrow. ill look at tomorrow by faye e arcand Readers, does this poem resonate with you at all? Does it evoke memories? Emotion? Please let me know in the comments below. Thank you.
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Wow, Faye. The she…her in this poem is dangerously down on herself.
Parts of this resonates with myself so I can identify. I have sometimes wondered if I belong in a certain place or situation.
But then I remind myself that I am here to learn.
Smart. Reminding yourself of that keeps you grounded. Very smart. xoxo
Hi Heather. Thanks for reading. Yes. That she/her is a common person who unfortunately is fraught with insecurity. More common than we recognize. Sad. It’s within all of us.
I can fully relate to this poem-the nagging insecure voice running dialogue counter to whatever confidence I manage to muster in a given moment. My favorite line is “who regurges lies or is it truths?” This speaks to that belief that maybe that voice is right, even though you know deep down it’s not.
Welcome Bridgette. Thank you for reading my poem. It really is a powerful thing, our brain… yes we do tell ourselves lies and accept them as truths and vice versa. I’m glad it resonated but hope you don’t buy into it too much…being aware is so important. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. It is really appreciated. xo