Site icon Faye E. Arcand

Is There a Right Way to Grieve?

Time giveth and time taketh away…

First and foremost, I want to thank you all for your heartfelt condolences. Losing a loved one is always difficult, but pair it with the Christmas season and it somehow becomes ten fold.

Christmas ’22, hubby and I gifted each other a January cruise. Very whimsical. A celebration of the hard work done throughout the year… Definitely a first for us as we scoured the pix online and then made what seemed like a split-second decision, we pushed enter!

That was us taking advantage of a cyber Monday deal. Boom. It was done.

Little did either of us know how much things would change between then, and the departure date.

Maureen, my sister, died suddenly on December 18. It was totally unexpected and we were all left in complete shock.

After long discussions, we decided to continue with our travel plans for January.

Some may have decided to cancel, and that’s okay. We choose to forage ahead. I felt the need to get away. Indulge in some introspection and write my little broken heart out.

Remember what they say about the best laid plans… Just always keep that in mind.

I don’t know if you remember the nightmare of travel that happened over the ’22 Christmas period. The weather wreaked havoc on airports and cities–hundreds of flights cancelled, passengers stranded, and Christmas plans disrupted.

We were fortunate that we didn’t have to travel until Jan, but the weather was still foggy, cold, and general yucky. I looked forward to getting away and wanted smooth sailings–literally.

We made it to Florida (where we were to board our ship on January 2nd) in time for the New Year’s fireworks. Everything fell into place with no hassle.

The Cruise. What can I say? It was decadent and indulgent—there’s not much to dislike.

My head wasn’t in the game though. I recognized this relatively early on when I tucked in with a coffee and my computer, ready to write and couldn’t. Like seriously, my fingers didn’t want to touch the keyboard.

Distractions were everywhere and I kept thinking of my sister. I imagined her with mom and dad and two of my brothers who predeceased her. My little Heaven Family. But then I’d get sad and wonder what the hell I was doing on this ship…

There I was having a ‘wonderful’ time on this huge floating palace and all I could think was –should I be here? What will people say when they see pictures of me with a cocktail and all smiles. Is it disrespectful to my sister? my family?

Is there a time limit on grief?

So, do you judge people who don’t appear to grieve?

Do you ask yourself how others could move along so quickly in their lives?

In your opinion, what is suitable behaviour for someone who is grieving?

Yes, I actually asked myself those questions.

The brain and the thoughts it produces, are amazing.

Though we know that we all grieve in different ways, there’s no way to tell what’s going on with someone else unless they choose to share parts of themselves.

Chances are, that there were others on the ship who were also in similar circumstances. A reminder that we don’t know what others are going through and to react with compassion rather than anger is a better choice.

There’s nothing easy about losing anyone who you love.

And, there’s no right or wrong way to grieve.

Tears are not the only expression of sadness. Some people present as they always do and you’d never know they were going through any difficulties.

I’m now on the road with my husband. Travelling to warmer climes so he can enjoyed his retirement.

Me, finally writing again which is something that never leaves me. It always shows up, if only in my own twisted writer brain.

Tell me your thoughts. Good to be back.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my post. I hope you enjoyed it. If anything resonated with you, please leave a comment or leave me a comment to say Hi. It’s always appreciated. Follow Below.

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