Auntie Says...

Bullying. Why You Must Speak Up and Speak Out.

I just returned from Japan. It’s my old stomping ground actually as several years ago I taught English and lived on the island of Kyushu. On this trip, my family members and I travelled through to Penticton’s Sister City Ikeda and experienced true Japanese hospitality. 

It was truly a wonderful experience.

When we left we went to Kobe, which is very near Kyoto, in the central part of the country. It was there that we learned of a horrible attack on an anime studio that killed several workers. This news shook the industry, the fans, and the country as a whole. It reminded me of the award-winning Japanese anime, A Silent Voice, that I’d watched a couple of years before with my son. 

Since school will be starting soon I thought this might be a good time to discuss it as the main theme of the film is bullying. The film shares a unique experience.  Told from the point-of-view of the bully it provides a perspective not often considered. The film is targeted towards older children.

The opening scene shows the main character Shoya, now a high school student, about to commit suicide after suffering years of depression, anxiety, and monumental guilt over his bullying of a deaf girl while they were in elementary school. 

As a young boy, Shoya had taken the girls hearing aides and thrown them in the river. His nasty attitude is fueled by the other students who egg him on and encourage his intimidating and destructive behaviour.

This struck a chord with me because we often forget (or ignore) that the one doing the attacking of the innocent is usually not acting alone. In the movie, even the teacher is aggressive as he pounds the wall violently and demands answers as he stares directly at the young trouble-maker. What message does that send to kids when a teacher acts that way?  

After the confrontation,  Shoya’s friends fade away, deny any involvement, and stay silent, thus allowing him to take all the blame. He becomes a social outcast and is shunned. 

As he grows up, Shoya begins to understand and empathize with his victim and wants to make amends. It’s a brilliant story. I won’t spoil the rest for you in case you want to watch it. 

The movie puts a different spin on to the bullying problem and reminds us that everyone, no matter how they’re involved, are affected one way or another.

Bullying has been defined, redefined, and even become a national movement with Pink Shirt Day but the question remains, has it made any difference?

In today’s world, some want to dominate, dictate, or belittle others. Is it human nature? A matter of maturity? Is it a group mentality? Are (or were) you part of it? 

Remind your kids that they don’t even have to be the direct target of bullying to be negatively affected. Whether a witness, a silent participant, or an active aggressor it takes its toll.

So what are the answers? Are we supposed to just cross our fingers and hope it doesn’t happen? 

Everyone needs to have a voice and be comfortable enough to use it. In the movie, the bystanders didn’t see themselves as being involved. These are the things we need to teach the kids and remind them to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. 

The words bully and bullying are redundant and seemingly irrelevant as it continues daily. Everyone and nobody can be labeled the bully depending on who you ask. 

Talk openly with your kids before school about their part in the bullying and encourage them to always speak up loud and clear. 

First published by Black Press August 16, 2019

14 thoughts on “Bullying. Why You Must Speak Up and Speak Out.”

  1. Oh how I wish we could contain the bullying by our US president. How sad and furious he makes those of us who understand his negative impact on young kids. Especially those whose parents support him, I suspect. Or kids who hear his bullying and think it must be cool and OK if such a top “role model,” a president, belittles disabled persons, women, heavy people, people of other races and cultures etccc! Id love a private audience with him to ask him why he’s so sad inside that he has to believe he’s better than everyone else… and demonstrate that supposed position by squishing others under his heel. So thanks for this excellent reminder that we all participate when someone’s being bullied… unless we intervene!

  2. Thanks for your comment Mindy. We do need to remember that bullies are not just on the playground. They are everywhere and insidious in nature. Whether at work, school, play, or living life we need to have the strength to know the difference and walk away or speak up when necessary. xo

  3. I found this post in Reader and it resonates with me so much. Because I was bullied in school, by both classmates and a few teachers, this post really hit me in the feels.

    Thank you so much for posting!

    1. Cherie. Thanks so much for commenting. I’m so sorry to hear of the bullying that you suffered. I hope you had the strength or perhaps someone around you, to speak up. It is such an insidious problem and stay with people for a very long time. Thank you for your kind words. I hope all is well in your world. Faye.

  4. You’re very welcome. And yes, I eventually spoke out. Now I blog and publish books with the theme of bullying. I also advocate for the bullied.

    You could say that in trying to tear me down, my classmates set me on the right path. 😁

    1. I’m so glad that you found the strength to continue and succeed. That is so huge. I can’t wait to look at your blog. Thanks for sharing. It makes life worthwhile when someone comes and says that something you wrote touched them. That’s so huge. Thanks again. Stay safe in this crazy world. Faye.

      1. Hi Cherie. Sorry it took me so long to answer. Sometimes life gets away on me. There are so many bullies around us and it really does depend on how we deal with them–whether the target or the bystander. I admire your strength and applaud you in moving forward.

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