My Twisted Writer Brain…

A Wee Peek Into the Chaotic Inner Workings of My Twisted Writer Brain

Night before last I couldn’t sleep.

I mean, like I was looking at the clock at 5:00am! Ugh.

I can normally play little games in my head to distract myself from the constant chatty thoughts of my run-away brain. But that night, nothing worked.

Source: Unsplash: Brett Jordan

Twice I had to grab my phone, put in the stupid password, so I could get to Notes and scribble down the opening lines of poems. My thoughts were all over the map.

Now what’s wrong with this picture? Well, first off, where the heck was my paper spiral notebook? It’s easier for me to scratch out big loopy letters in the middle of the night than it is for my 5am sleep deprived fingers to know the difference between the teeny itty-bitty letters on a phone screen.

Ugh. Ugh. and Ugh. What a long night.

I did those poems, I chatted with a couple of characters in my stories (they say Hi), and I plotted the next bestseller. With so much activity I should have passed out at midnight but nope–my twisted writer brain had other ideas.

I thought several times about getting up.

Source Unsplash: Park Troopers

Hmmm…my creative brain is flowing, I thought. Maybe I should just go tuck into somewhere that wasn’t bed, and write. Omg, the debate that went on in the gray space was utterly ridiculous–just like a barrel of monkeys on the loose with no hope of being mollified.

One side was like yay…let’s go! We’ll eat ice cream and tuck our toes under a nice fluffy blanket on the couch and we’ll write, and write, and write. And everything we write will be worthy of the highest praise. They’ll all be winners in an elite literary writing contest and everyone will love them.

As soon as “literary” entered into the scheme, I knew that side of my brain needed to be paused.

So the other side piped up–there was no use in getting up. Sleep would happen in a minute or two. Probably just seconds away. And the floor–brrr, it’s cold and there is no ice cream. I’m not really a writer. I’m a complete fraud. Such a loser. One who can’t sleep, but alas, a loser nonetheless.

My brain–both sides–eventually crawled back into bed with me and calmed themselves. It was like having little kids in a hotel room where they had to run around and touch everything, bounce on every bed, and kick every wall, door, and piece of furniture before they could settle down. Basically, my brain finally ran outta steam.

Source: Unsplash: Aleksandra-sapozhnikov

They–whoever “they” are–say you don’t ever catch up on lost sleep as it’s gone forever. The opportunity is gone, never to be retrieved. But hey, I have the beginnings of two of My Twisted Writer Brain poems that wouldn’t have happened if I were asleep at midnight. With the good, there’s bad.

10 thoughts on “A Wee Peek Into the Chaotic Inner Workings of My Twisted Writer Brain”

  1. Oh my! I so relate 🙂 I wish my significant other didn’t mind me turning on my bedside lamp … or even didn’t mind me using my tiny book-reading flashlight (I have 2 of them…) but he’s SO light-sensitive! And yes, I hate getting up on cold winter nights! On the other hand, in summer it’s fun to scoot outside and write in the gazebo! 🙂

    1. I know, right? My hubby is the same way. One tiny bit of light and he wakes up tho he could sleep through almost anything. lol…. Yes, now that the weather is beginnng to warm up I’ll just stay up. No more 5am’s….lol meh, who am I trying to fool? Thanks for stopping by Norma. xoxo

  2. I think it’s good that you wake up with all these magical thoughts. I wish I could. I find it incredibly difficult to get ideas.

    1. lol…Thanks Pip. The thing is that I don’t sleep. The ideas and chaos continue to keep me awake. It’s a fight every nite. One thing I’m never short of is thoughts. Thanks for stopping by Pip… Let that brain go free and the ideas will come. Don’t push it. xoxo

  3. Oh my,

    Great column. So familiar a story. We’ll have to “meet” in the middle of the night somewhere, sometime. I have a pen and post it notes by the bathroom sink under the night light so as not to disturb my husband when I get up to jot down my brilliant thoughts and phrases!!

    I am about to register for Word on the Lake. Wish it was live but still looking forward to seeing everyone.

    Remind me what dates have been set aside for Wine Festival Conference. Want to make sure to keep them open.

    Stay well, Patti

    1. lol…love it. Using a nightlight…what wonderful wives we all are for not waking the hubby! Yes…to the meet in the middle! Oh I can’t wait. WotL should be really great. Looking forward to it. WCWF is September 24/25. It too will unfortunately be Virtual but lots of announcements coming down the pike. Thanks for dropping by Patti. xo

  4. Lol, opportunity costs. There’s really no telling what we could’ve gotten if we did the OTHER thing (we all have that other thing we could’ve been doing). But hey, staying up at midnight is worth it most times, because I truly feel that it’s magic hour for writing! Great post, Faye!

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