A week or so ago I got this text from my niece. This is directly from A CUP OF JO a lifestyle blog developed and written by Joanna Goddard.
There are many young women who chose to not have children and believe me that doesn’t mean they suffer for want of sharing their nurturing ways. Some are natural and others are uncomfortable about kids, no matter. There’s no rules.
My friend never wants children and is very vocal about it. Not everyone is Mom Material.
I consider my relationships with several of my nieces and nephews to be very special. I’m always here for them and they know it.
I do have one son and when my niece sent me this note she put at the bottom…
“You get both first prizes…”
Feeling the Love. Feeling the Love.
Have a quick read. It’s worth it.
This short story below came as a gift and a surprise. It’s about the relationship between a Auntie and her niece or nephew. It really is so special but this passage describes it so well I had to share.
Tracey, 35
I have always known in my heart that I am not called to be a mother. Over time, I came to see that I am meant to be an aunty. I myself have an amazing aunty who, along with my parents, helped shape me into who I am. When I was eight and we moved from a farm to the city, she was the one to soothe me. She gave me bath beads as a gift. Our old home didn’t have a bath, so this city bath was something special, because she made it so. She did the same with training bras. When I was 13, she replaced my mortifying beige one with a jazzy fluorescent number. She modeled the most important lesson about being in a child’s life: just show up.
Now it’s my turn, and I have 14 children who call me ‘aunty’ (I am the biological aunt to just two of them). If you’re a kid in my orbit and I love you, I’m yours, for life. Recently, my friend’s five-year-old did a school project where he traced his hand and then, for each finger, he drew a face and labeled it with the name of someone who is a ‘safe person’ — someone he can trust and go to in tricky situations. I am extremely honored to report to the world that ‘Aunty Tracey’ was awarded the prestigious appointment of Thumb!
It hasn’t always been easy to be the outlier as a non-mum. It was a hard slog sometimes, wanting something different from my peers. But as these kids grow up, telling me their hopes and dreams in a way they don’t always with their own parents, I am more sure than ever that this is my calling.
This isn’t second prize, it’s an alternate first.
A Cup of jo
Auntie Lesson:
We all have our paths in life. For some it’s being a mom and wife, for others it’s staying single, or choosing to have no children. It’s not our place to judge or belittle any woman for something they have the right to chose.
If you have an Auntie who’s special to you, tell her. You’ll make her day.
Are you an Auntie with a story to tell? Please let me know. It’s such a special role to play and one that is under-recognized. Let me know your story.
Don’t forget to follow.
Motherhood isn’t for everyone. And you’re right, no one should be judged for making such decisions. It is their life after all.
Hi Shweta. You are so right. Yet some feel pressured or pushed and that’s not fair. I agree with you. It’s their life. Leave them alone. xo
Indeed. I hope you have a great weekend
I lean toward thinking this doesn’t get enough space in our culture. There are always kids who could use a few stray adults. The kids in our lives (mine and my partners) aren’t ours biologically, but they matter intensely to us, and I’m grateful for each of them.
Hi Ellen. I so agree with you. In our culture there’s all these expectations placed on women. As soon as they’re dating they’re asked about the wedding. The wedding’s over they’re asked about the babies….it’s endless and reckless.
There are so many young people who don’t have a strong woman in their life and we really do need more of it. I think those kids in your life are lucky to have both you and your partner. What a gift–going both ways. xo
I can’t speak for how it’s been on their side, but for us? We’ve been very lucky that they expanded our lives the way they have.
If you’re feeling it, believe me, they are too! 💕