My Twisted Writer Brain…, self improvement

How NaNo Fell into a Painless,Silent, but Deserving, Death

It needed to be kicked to the curb and I should have done it sooner.

I don’t know what word count I got to, but I do know that it all sucked in more ways than one.

The writing felt forced.

Nothing wanted to flow from my brain to my page.

My brain would whistle an empty tune like it was strolling alone down the centre of a railroad track in the middle of nowhere.

See… there goes my brain is just strolling away into the unknown. Sigh. Picture Source: Unsplash. Picture Artist: Mika Matin


I couldn’t pull it all back.

No matter how hard I tried to sit ass in chair and pump out the words, everything in my being fought against me.

I know I’m not alone in this. Heck, I feel like such a hypocrite in pushing the process. I’ve been a proponent of just keep writing, but it doesn’t always work. I’ll own it though. I have to.

Expectation doesn’t work for me. What does?

I really believe for me that I need to physically change my location. I need to go somewhere different.

This is me. Looking. Seeking.

Before covid, I was was very busy in the community and doing/going all the time. Now it’s all I can do to stay up until 9:30 pm! I’ve thought about S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) but the weather and amount of sunlight make no difference for me.

I believe my brain is bored.

It’s not happy doing (for trying to do) the same thing all the time.

It’s searching for stimulation and excitement (I think we all are).

Tomorrow is December 1 and my plan is to do 15 mins of “dance” everyday. I don’t mean lessons or anything serious, I just want to put the music on and move. I want to feel some energy flowing through me again. There’s been too much sitting lately.

I’m hoping this will assist in my lethargy and brain health, and in turn, my writing ability.

Calling the Muse through movement.

I’ll let you know if I can get my brain back where it belongs as apposed to wandering wherever it likes. lol.


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10 thoughts on “How NaNo Fell into a Painless,Silent, but Deserving, Death”

  1. Yeah, forced writing doesn’t work. I know from experience. I have to be in the right mood, wanting to get to it, while writing in my mind and making notes until I can sit at my computer.

    1. Hi Heather. Thx for stopping by. This was new to me. I’ve always been able to sit and get it done. Very frustrating. I really hope the change of scenery makes a difference! Talk soon. Stay warm 😊

  2. Thanks for being honest and vulnerable with us, Faye. In our weirdest times we can always know that we’re not alone. We’re all the same. I was with a lady yesterday, a stranger, who locked herself out of her car. She beat herself up feeling so stupid. But who hasn’t locked themselves out of their car or out of something?

    Something much bigger and complex is at play when we write and, in one sense, we are not in control. I think our readers like it that way.

    1. Thanks Nancy. I agree with you wholeheartedly. The writing needs to come through me. To try and force does’t work. And yes, we really are hard on ourselves, aren’t we? Thanks for the grounding. I needed that. Talk soon. xo

  3. It just wasn’t time for a story to come out Faye. Youve been incredibly busy for awhile now. I know, I saw how hard you worked in the festival, I see you posting very regularly. Sometime our brains need a big fat break. Go do that. Don’t stress. You have rocked solid for a long time now. You’ll know when it’s time to put ass in chair again

    1. Caryn. Thanks for your kind words. Yes, perhaps I’ve overdone it for now and really need that break. I fear drifting too much… I seriously thought that Nano was my ass in chair time, but alas I was wrong. I love writing–I’ll be back. Thank you. xo

    1. Hey Lauren. It’s funny how it happens, isn’t it. While I can tell you to take it easy and let it come… I’m much harder on myself… Just like you are on yourself. Sigh. A break is warranted and for me an obvious reset required. We’ll both get back on track. I know we will. Thanks Lauren. xo

    1. Hey Norma. I’m glad you made the distinction between what *we* think we need apposed to what *others* think we need. So true. and so important to listen to what your brain and heart are saying… if it’s a break. Thats’ ok. It really is. For me, that change of scenery does wonders. xo Thanks for stopping by. So appreciated.

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