Recently I did a blog about anger and the way it can take over your life. Anger is so destructive to your own health and to those around you. See it here: Auntie Says…Why Are You Constantly Angry?
I received two really interesting reader comments about how to deal with personal anger. I wanted to share and address both with you all.
“In my opinion anger comes from caring too much about a certain situation and the outcome is not as you expected or want it to be. Since the moment you stop caring about the outcome, the anger disappears.” from reader Svet
Do you put too much stock in the outcome of an event or action? This can can be a difficult thing to control and if you can face the fact you have no control over what happens then you may be able to let it go.
If you get angry during situations for which you have no control then the energy is wasted. All you can control is your reaction and you’ll have to learn to let the anger go.
Sometimes you need to step back and let things fall where they may. I realize that’s easier said than done. Meditation and deep breathing help. Embracing the Serenity Prayer (which follows) may also help.
Knowing and accepting things will happen as they are meant to and anger is not an answer or solution, can assist you in channeling the energy away from a place of anger. Remember to breathe.
“Repressed anger can lead to depression so it needs to be understood and expressed. There have been times when I have experienced anger and was not sure why. A technique I used was to speak to my anger. I would actually sit down and say “ Anger why are you there? What are you angry about? “ Then I would just listen – deep listening. And sure enough the anger would speak to me. I found this very helpful.” Bryan
Anger is very destructive and like Bryan points out, it can lead down a long and dangerous road to depression, isolation, and distress. Recognizing your anger and how you feel is the first step and dealing with it is the next.
Bryan offers a unique way of self awareness to deal with your anger. I love the notion of giving it a name and a face and addressing anger directly.
I do this with my fictional characters when I write. I ask them how they’re feeling and if they’re satisfied with my work. Without fail I receive an answer because they’re within me–It’s the same with anger–give it a voice. Let it speak to you and tell you what’s going on. This can be the beginning of healing and a different way of dealing with the stress and anxiety you’re feeling.
If you’re not comfortable ‘speaking’ to the anger then do it through a letter. Using a similar technique of personifying the anger… give it a name, a face, a place where he lives… Then write to him/her/them–ask why they do what they do, where do they come from? What do they need from you? Hopefully by answering some of these questions and being open and honest with yourself you’ll be able to identify the issue and move on.
Try it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by not letting anger rule your life.
Thank you to all the great readers and comments. I so appreciate your input.