If you’ve been invited to someones home for dinner, drinks, or simply to visit there are a few basic manners you must practice while visiting another persons home. And, if you’re meeting your partners parents or family for the first time– you only get one shot to make a positive impression–good manners can take care of that.
Here are the Five Auntie Rules when you go visiting.
1. Don’t Arrive Empty-Handed.
I don’t care if you arrive with a bouquet of daisies you picked from the side of the road, a bottle of wine, or some cookies you made–just arrive with something. There’s a couple of reasons for this.
First, it acknowledges the host and allows you to offer your thanks right away.
Second: Those first few seconds of meeting someone are heart-pounding and anxiety laden. If you have something in your hands it makes a difference and then you says “These are for you….” It’s a great ice breaker.
Third, it shows a great sense of maturity and class because you’ve made an effort for someone else. Trust me on that one.
2. Smile and Listen.
There’s nothing worse than a know-it-all who really knows nothing.
If you’re prone to speaking out of nervousness then just constantly remind yourself to breathe and smile. You don’t need to participate in every single conversation. It’s okay. People understand that you’re nervous.
The most important thing is to listen and add to the conversation when you are comfortable. Don’t lie or embellish–that never works. Just be you and do your best.
A simple nod is okay. And, try not to worry if you can’t remember someones name. That’s common in groups. Just admit to the fact and ask them their name if required.
3. Offer to Help.
Whether it’s helping carry something from the kitchen or doing the dishes make sure you offer, or if you can see where something needs to be done–just do it.
For example: you see one of the little ones spilling ice cream on the floor. Don’t ignore it. Get a damp paper towel and wipe it up then toss the paper towel into the garbage. No need to get someone.
An offer of help is sometimes graciously accepted and other times declined. If you’re the only one not helping in some way you might want to pitch in somehow. Don’t be the only one sitting outside when others are cleaning, clearing, or washing up. A little common sense goes a long way.
4. Watch Your Alcohol and Dope Intake.
When you’re a guest in someones home you’re there because you’ve been invited. If you’re just with your buds hanging in the basement that’s one thing but visiting takes a bit more effort in the maturity department.
Don’t arrive reeking of pot or alcohol. It’s a real turn off.
Don’t assume that you can just light up in the back yard and think that others won’t be offended. If you’re a smoker–tobacco, vape, or weed–ask the host/hostess where you should smoke BEFORE lighting up.
Who knows, some may join you while others will direct you to the end of the road or driveway.
Never-Ever leave butts on the road, the driveway, or anywhere for that matter. Pick them up, make sure they’re extinguished, and disposed of properly.
Don’t assume that just because it’s legal that everyone will want it around them.
Don’t get shit faced, puke in the garden, or argue that you’re fine to drive after imbibing. If you drink or do any kind of drug you need to ensure a safe ride home.
Even if you’re nervous and anxious alcohol doesn’t help–it can make you even more nervous. Best to consciously sip and not guzzle.
5. Always Thank the Hosts for Their Hospitality.
Anytime you’ve been a guest it’s imperative that you be thankful and convey that message clearly to those who hosted you. Be sincere and truthful.
An email the next day doesn’t hurt either. Just a “Thanks Again–I really enjoyed the dinner” kind of note. Simple–not sappy. This is a classy thing to do and is the impression that will stay with them.
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You know, manners go along way to reflect and show who you are as a person. I would never want fake–yes ma’am–kind of behavior as that is a complete put-on and turn-off.
It’s about relaxing and allowing your personality to come out while also being mature and taking others into consideration.
So don’t go off the deep end trying to be something you’re not–just follow the five rules and you’ll be fine.
Enjoy.
Love Auntie. oxox
Hint – if you’re going to a dinner party with 4 or more guests, don’t take flowers. Your hostess or host is probably super busy with preparing the meal, pouring you a drink, making your welcome, so having to stop, find a vase, arrange your flowers, put them somewhere suitable, etc. is a hassle. From a long-time hostess who would rather receive chocolates, flowers, a beautiful stone or an old book. Or send/take flowers the next day. I like that, too.
Aggie! I love this! I so agree. Flowers are not an end-all. Such great thought. Thanks for commenting. ox