advice to teens. Auntie advice, Faye Arcand, Overweight Women, self improvement

Are You Fat? Who Gets to be the Judge?

A while ago a young woman confided she’d never had a boyfriend before because she was too fat and she knew that no guy would want to be with a fat girl.

Last week a young man told me he was still a virgin at 21. He knew it would stay that way because he was a geek and socially awkward. After all, what girl would want him?

A young girl, age of 13, told me a few years ago she wasn’t good enough for the other students because she knew she wasn’t pretty enough and no one would dare be seen with such an ugly girl.

All of these piss me off.


Because each of these young people is passing judgement against the entire world and it’s not fair.

When you say these kinds of things you’re not only feeding a self-perpetuating loathing, but also showing your true colors as you judge those around you. No one has judged you but YOU.

You “think” people will say you’re too fat. You have NO IDEA what others are thinking or feeling. By passing that judgement against others you’re doing exactly what you don’t want done to you.

For the girl who calls herself fat–you’re not even giving anyone a chance. You like a lot of people because of WHO they are–not because of WHAT they look like. You are passing judgement against every person before you even know them. You’ve superimposed your own negative thoughts into a judgement against others.

Are you fat? Well, I guess it depends on who you ask doesn’t it? You’ve already been judge and jury so it doesn’t appear that any other opinion matters. You know this is not only destructive to yourself but keeps a wall up against others.

Click here to check out a post on What We Believe–We Become. You might benefit from it.


For the virgin guy–you too are judging everyone else in order to wrap yourself in your own self pity. Get over yourself. If you’re socially awkward or shy you may need to force yourself out of your comfort zone to meet new people or join new social activities. You’re not going to meet anyone sitting in your room playing video games and feeling sorry for yourself as you put everyone else down for not falling at your feet. Ugh.

It takes two to tango and you need to get out there. No excuses. If it’s mental health that is keeping you back then seek medical attention. Stop putting yourself down. It gets you no where.

Click here to check out some ways to work on your social anxiety and awkwardness.


To the young girl who thinks she’s ugly and is judging everyone else before she even knows them. Stop it.

You’re not only selling yourself short but you’re not giving any other person on the planet any type of credit for being anything but shallow.

Do you dislike someone because you don’t find them attractive? If yes, then you need help because your lens is skewed. People are not their looks and don’t deserve to be treated any different because of them.

Click here to read about the myth perfectionism in your life.



Think about it!

Now, I won’t just leave you there because that wouldn’t be very fair. You see, I really do understand the self-protective nature that we all embrace to keep ourselves safe and unscathed. But, when you actually think about it you’re not being fair to those around you.

You’d be surprised how many people may want to be your friend.

Give others a chance–Isn’t that what we all want?

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