Guys! Ditch the Porn! Five Things You Need to Know.

This is just a little chat I wanted to have with you. It won’t be everyone’s cup of tea and that’s ok.

It’s important we begin this conversation now though before an interest becomes an addiction… I can only hope.

If you’re a young person with a porn addiction, get help.

If you’re having issues or think you may have a problem, in Canada contact the Crisis Line at Crisis Services Canada 1-833-456-4566, or text 45645

This post is meant to individuals regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. The term men/women are interchangeable as you see fit.

Remember always to have respect not only for others but for yourself as well.

So don’t read if you don’t want. I’m ok with that–seriously, I am. But if you do read and don’t like it….Well, I tried.

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I was scrolling through Reddit the other day and a question was posted by a young man who was having some issues with his girlfriend. To put it bluntly–he couldn’t preform sexually.

He was not only stressed and embarrassed, but also confused and wanting to find an answer. On the Reddit site, the young guy answered his own question and admitted to being an avid porn watcher. He identified this as likely being his main issue because he had no performance issues while watching porn.

This is a real concern because porn can give you a skewed and unrealistic view of relationships and sex.

I know partners watch porn together. I know women watch porn too. This though is for the guys (or anyone who identifies as such and is wanting to watch porn as discussed here).

What I want to look at here is a reality check between the portrayal of women in porn and the average woman at home.

The young man on Reddit admitted to having a view of women that his girlfriend didn’t fit. His view of women and sexual satisfaction was formed from watching a lot of porn.

Personally, I don’t really care what floats your boat, but you do need some checks and balances sometimes. When a pastime begins to interfere with your life then you may need a reality check.

So here are five things I want you to think about in regards to women, relationships, and porn. Try not to blur the lines–there’s a big difference between reality and what you’re seeing on screen.

First … the women in porn are there for the money. They’re actors–as are the guys.

The average woman does not do all her grocery shopping wearing six inch stilettos, a mini skirt and crop top, with a vibrator tucked in her purse so she can duck into the storage room in the back.

Ugh.

Real life takes more effort and social interaction on your part. You might have to actually talk to someone and say something semi-intelligent. That is doable because I know you’re smart and have lots to say. If you’re socially awkward click here to read about what you can do.

Women come in all shapes, sizes, and colors and should be celebrated. For the most part, porn shows a willing female who is tall, slim, big breasted, beautiful (as per porn standards), and always available. This is not reality.

Second … women are not always in the mood nor are they falling at your feet begging for sex.

Unlike porn where the woman wants nothing more than to satisfy her man, real women have to get up and go to work in the morning, have to care for children, and a myriad of other responsibilities.

You’re not necessarily one of the priorities especially when it comes to dropping everything and performing sexual acts. This is why you have something called a relationship. You share other interests and can communicate on a level of caring and sharing.

Third … not all women dream about threesomes or orgies. Those are your fantasies. Real life is a lot different.

Guys, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are women who will meet your sexual fantasies and I hope you find them. It can be a wonderful journey to travel together but when it comes to a committed relationship, monogamy is often the expectation and if it’s not yours, you best have that conversation early in the relationship.

Have you ever heard the saying three’s a crowd? Well, there’s a reason for that and jealousies and insecurities will surface. Be aware and ready to discuss these honestly.

Also with Covid you best be very careful before you invite someone into your bubble.

Four… women do not exist simply to satisfy you sexually and then fade off to the background.

That may happen in porn where the story line is sex driven but in real life a woman (unless she’s just hooking up) is seeking a deeper connection to share and grow a relationship.

I’d also want you to look at what you want out of a relationship. Is it closeness? A person to count on and love?

That type of relationship takes time to build and requires trust and communication. Having a relationship between yourself and a computer screen would be very lonely.

and

Five….It’s time to grow up.

Do you want to be like the guy who couldn’t preform because his expectation were now all screwed up because of porn?

His view of himself was all screwed up because the guys in porn can always perform and satisfy their partner. He wasn’t sure he measured up. Was he doing it right? And, then worrying about his partner caused even more stress. It was no wonder he had issues.

Have some respect for yourself and your relationship goals. And, have respect for your partner and her needs and wants. This is imperative to building a solid relationship.

Hey, if you and your partner want to use porn in your relationship then talk about it. The key word here is relationship. Build that trust. Be honest and communicate. There’s so much more to a relationship than just sex.

But hey, if you’re just passing time and waiting for the perfect porn girl to fall into your lap–it ain’t gonna happen.

Life is a bit more complicated. Thanks for the chat.

If you’re having issues or think you may have a problem, in Canada contact the Crisis Line at Crisis Services Canada 1-833-456-4566, or text 45645 They maybe able to point you in the right direction.

Thanks for reading Auntie Says…

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