The other day I was scrolling through Instagram and came across this quote that I had to share.
“Karma Says,
Forgiving people in silence and
never speaking to them again
is a form of self care.”
ig | KARMALEAVESNONE
As per Wikipedia, Karma, is defined as “what happens to a person, happens because they caused it with their actions.”
So what IG is saying is...
…that some people, though worthy of being forgiven, are better to just move on from for the sake of your own mental and physical health. The other brought the actions on themselves and will have to live with the consequences of the silence and deal with it as they will.
You know, sometimes there’s just something to be said for moving on in life that is healthy, but it can also get lost in the emotional struggle that takes place in our brain.
To forgive yourself, or someone else, doesn’t have to be a huge spectacle of meeting at a downtown cafe to rehash everything that happened. You know–the whole you did this so I did that…You said…so I blah blah blah…
Circles…it all ends up in circles that take you nowhere and solves nothing.
Forgiveness can be silent and fill the heart and the intrinsic need of an individual without having to dive in head-first with the other individual(s) involved.
Stepping back is healthy.
There are times waaaaay back in my younger life when I wished I would’ve just stayed away and kept out of different situations. You know, given silent forgiveness and moved on…
Silence sends a powerful message of don’t fuck with me. It is dynamic in it’s meaning and is something that can strengthen your resilience and stance of your decision. It says I’m not going down that road again because I’m done. It’s over. I’ve moved on. Wow! Silence lets the other people know you’re living in your own truth of choice and forgiveness which means not having to answer to anyone but yourself.
I think some of the self control and self care awareness, come with maturity.
Guys–for example–why did I always let them back in? Give them a second chance?
Well, I held the door open for them, of course. Instead of stepping back and embracing the silent forgiveness and moving on to allow them to do whatever they needed to do, I fell backwards. There always seemed to be a need to meet, discuss, explain, and feel heard. Validation and recognition were needed back then because I didn’t have the strength of knowing myself the way I do now.
Unfortunately, what would happen is forgiveness would be bestowed, a tepid trust restored, and a broken heart to follow because I didn’t listen or learn from the first go-’round. I know I’m not alone in this but to recognize the causal affect of someone’s actions is imperative before you can step back.
While some may think it selfish to stay silent, that implies ill-will and I don’t think that is the crux here.
I would hope that in the forgiveness process there is an intention to move on and thus, staying silent, takes the high road of not allowing yourself to be swallowed up in potential drama, emotional upheaval, or unwanted explanations.
Auntie Lesson:
Forgiveness comes from within. It is up to you to decide how and when to give or receive. The lesson here today is that sometimes taking care of yourself simply means to forgive, stay silent, and move on.
What’s done is done.
The other person/people involved will have to deal with their issues themselves because fate or karma has stepped in to separate those involved because one is staying silent and moving on. It’s neither bitchy or selfish.
Do what’s right for you.
True! Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Aadhya. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. It’s very much appreciated.
This is such a powerful post, Faye. I think for a lot of us, that staying silent phase and moving on phase comes only after a line has been crossed and a lot has been said to the other person but without any effect or change in behavior. Overall, as is said, be the change you want to see in the world. Once we move on silently, and find peace within ourselves( which is an ongoing process), I guess we can see the world in a whole new, beautiful light which we otherwise wouldn’t have been able to, because of being stuck or going around in circles. I personally believe forgiveness comes long after, but the first step towards it is moving on and going silent and not stepping back into the toxic situation.
Hi Shveta. Thank you so much for commenting–I really appreciate it. I totally agree with what you’re saying. Forgiveness is a choice and doesn’t come over night. It takes work and real dedication. Separating yourself from (and not falling back into) the toxic situation is key. Life and living is not black and white. There’s always the gray areas that pull and push our thoughts, emotions, and actions. Sometimes we have to first forgive ourselves before we can bestow forgiveness to others. Thanks again for stopping by. Don’t be a stranger.
Yes, also the part about forgiving ourselves before being able to forgive others. Thanks much. 🙂
Shveta, you are very welcome.