What is My Twisted Writer Brain (MTWB)?
I’m not a huge fan of January, and today seems to be my mental breaking point.
I don’t know whether you realize it, but I also write a blog called Auntie Says. It has nothing to do with writing and everything to do with life and lifestyle.
The two blogs keep me busy and my brain always buzzing with ideas, observations, and different angles on life.
I need to tell you, my brain is weary.
So, today, I published a blog for Auntie Says that’s all about embracing a Gentle January strategy to get through this tough time of the year.
It’s funny, because the New Year hit and I thought Whooo Hooo… here’s a clear slate on which to start, but those lies that I feed myself just end up choking my creativity.
Yup. Coming up for air right about now.
MTWB began out of a necessity to straighten my twisted thoughts, share my ideas, encourage other writers and creatives, and teach techniques that work in the writing world.
The blog and the world around MTWB has grown and I love it, but recently I’ve taken on too much.
It’s all heaped on me–by me, no one else. It’s just the way it is–heck, it’s just the way I am.
The Thought Process of a Writer Brain
If your brain is “on” all the time, it’s exhausting.
Can you relate to the reality of always thinking of the next thing, letting your imagination run wild, or pushing all that grey matter to work harder? faster? smarter?
I think every writer does it at different points.
While at rest, or in moments of stillness, the brain is supposed to calm… to quiet and become tranquil.
But not a writers’ brain. No way. It’s up and flying everywhere.
Not only is it doing the dutiful loop of confirming how much of an ass it was during the day, but it slams you in the face. You know how it goes… the round and round question and self doubt as I ask why did I do that? …
Shit that was pretty stupid. Why didn’t I say something? Where are they now?
Then…. it trails off to go a little further…
You’re not a writer. Who the hell are you trying to fool? Omg, if people only knew the truth about what a loser you are…
You’re too old. Too slow. Too old-school. Not smart enough. Not a hard worker. You think you can write well, I got something to tell you…
All that doubt, even after all these years still lurks.
Do Other Professionals Beat Themselves Up?
Seriously! The dreaded imposter syndrome!
Do teachers lay in bed at night and think about how the Principal is going to find out they’re a fraud.
Or maybe a cop? Do they fear the idea of being ‘found out’ when they show up to work for their morning briefing?
Yeah, maybe servers question whether their personal attention and service to the customer is as good as that other guy across the room. You know the guy–the one who’ always smiling and getting the best tips. Why and how is he better? He must have an in with management.
The clerk at the local grocery store?
QUESTION: Why oh why, do we as writers and creatives do this to ourselves? And if you don’t, please let me in on your secret.
It’s Not a Wacko Twisted Brain–It’s About Action
My twisted writer brain is fed by action, its appetite is atrocious, and is on a constant prowl for inspiration, a story, a line, or even just a word.
For me, my brain isn’t psychotic or anything.
Nah, it’s just a twisted pretzel of constant creative loops. Does that make sense?
It never wants to take a break as it chases a fantastical story line around until one or the other tires of it.
Not all that action gets on the paper. Ugh. If only.
Thinking about ‘doing’, and actually pulling it off, are two different stories.
A Warning for That Writer Brain of Yours
I have a tendency to let my brain wander.
You know what it’s like as you pound on the computer keys for hours, you need to take a break… where do you go?
Some may head to bed. Ahh, I’d probably sleep all day lol…
Some maybe go do laundry. I like this one. Yeah, yeah, I know it’s weird but I’d rather do laundry than bathrooms, kitchens or floors. It’s not my go-to, but sometimes I wander down stairs to the washer.
But, like all of you, I do have a reliable back-up that will never disappoint.
Yup, you guessed it, I wander over to the rabbit hole known as social media. Oh Oh.
I try to consistently keep up-to-date on social platforms for trends, promotions, and to basically stay in the loop. The problem is that the distraction soon leads to another and another.
Right now, I’m on a thread where everyone is posting about the writing contests they’re entering and setting high goals for the year.
I like the camaraderie and the spirit of support, but it takes me away from where I really need to be.
I need to be editing a manuscript and doing a complete rewrite on another.
My work has somehow moved down that slippery slope of now being the last priority on the January To-Do list. That needs to change. (now go back up and read the part of being so hard on themselves–yup–a vicious little pretzel twist.)
All You Can Do is Stick With It and Persevere
The ability to write, or create, is a gift.
I really need to remind myself of that more often. I’m strong in my purpose and the knowledge of my ability so I just need to embrace the Gentle January and reset.
I got this.
I hope you now understand my twisted writer brain a bit better. I know I’m not alone, but it can be tough sometimes.
Thanks for listening. Let me know your tricks…