When I was 13, I had a crush on a guy who didn’t really exist.
Don’t get me wrong, he was real enough, but the reality is that he didn’t know my name and probably didn’t realize I was anything more than a desk filler.
You see, I knew him only in my own imagination…in my own head.
He was dreamy. Perfect in every way…or so I thought.
His smile lit up his whole face and when he laughed, his eyes sparkled with what I considered to be an honesty that showed who he really was–kind and nice.
He had dark hair that brushed his collar, he was tall for his age, and dressed in all the latest fashions I’d seen modeled in the Sears catalogue. How can anyone be any cooler than that?
My heart skipped a beat when I saw him and I wanted to marry him because when you’re 13, marriage is equal to love and forever.
I had girlhood fantasies of him holding my hand, stolen kisses, and walking together. I’d be the envy of every girl in school. We’d conquer the world and I knew he’d be kind and respectful toward all living things.
What happened to change my mind?
Well, one day I came around the corner at school to see my Mr. Perfect teasing a girl. We were all the same age, but the girl was morbidly obese and sadly, an easy target for bullies.
My dream dude bounced and poked the poor girl from behind. As she turned, he would leap to the other side. He laughed and called her horrible names as he had her spinning back and forth. It was a childish game to him as she screamed and batted at him with her tiny purse.
She was near tears and I stood stunned.
A teacher came and shooed my Mr. Perfect away. The girl went on her way, too.
Me? I was left with a crushed fantasy as I saw him for the first time.
We all see what we want. In this example, I was just a young girl and didn’t know anything different, but my dreams were crushed. It was a lesson I never forgot. It followed with me through life and became an awareness of how I looked at life, events, and people. To this day I remember their names and can picture the event.
While they say ‘seeing is believing‘, you have to have your eyes open.
It took me a bit to learn that lesson. Always be aware there’s another side to something or someone you see. You may not want to acknowledge it, but it’s there.